ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
