i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
