I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
