somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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