So drunk its hurt
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
