I smell stomach acid.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
