you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
