if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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