if you like me you must not know who I am
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There r osticjed everywhere
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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