So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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