i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
