i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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