she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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