Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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