i think i have herpe
just one?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
