She said her name was "party"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
