Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
