There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
