I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
