That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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