just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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