It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
