Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
