I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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