do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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