what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
