Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
