I hate your face
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
