He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
