Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
