Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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