It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
