Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
