I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No subtext here. People are naked.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
