I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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