What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
