WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
