ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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