dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
