i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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