I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
