I bet he comes in French.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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