I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
