I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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