Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
