Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
