So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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