I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
