i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
