but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
